Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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