hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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