your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
