Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
