marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize