Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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