I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
