no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
