so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
