I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
