I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
