Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
