And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
