Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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