You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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