sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Randomize
