went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
