My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
