You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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