you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize