I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
