Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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