I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Semen is not good for contacts.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
