Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You need Xanax blowdarts
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
