She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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