Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
