Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
