I wanna bring you to show and tell
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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