CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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