So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
