do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
