ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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