They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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