HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
