Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
