Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He felt like a one man threesome
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
