Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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