Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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