Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
