He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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