help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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