i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
