are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
