I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
