After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Pants are for mortals
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
