Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
