If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
