I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
