It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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