is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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