I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize