please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
