I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
