This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
