Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
me + whiskey = a bad person
Randomize
