Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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