Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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