I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
