thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
