he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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