Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Randomize