I could make wine with my vomit
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
