margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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